Prayer - ACTS

The method of praying using the acronym of ACTS is well-known. Focusing our heart on various aspects of our communication with the Lord, we can find direction during our prayer time.

This is also helpful for children as well. They are very quick to learn the acronym and what each segment means. It is an effective evaluation for parents to learn the deficiencies in training. For example, our children were very good at Thanksgiving and Supplication (praying for others), but not so good at the others. This method provided an opportunity to grow in other areas of prayer.

I guide them through the prayer time encouraging them to keep their eyes closed the whole time. (I still have to remind them not to lay down or be a distraction.) I explain that we would do short "popcorn" prayers; which means one sentence only, in random order, and opportunity to pray again and again. I tell them which section we're on and pray first each time. (Once they learn the model, they are not so dependent on my praying first.) Then they pray. To begin with, I have to remind them what each component is and model what to say again. But as we repeat this practice, they learn fast!

A - Adoration (This aspect focuses on the character of God, not what He has done. "God, You are . . . ")

C - Confession (Focus on confessing things that we have done wrong. Parents may have to give children suggestions to get started. If no mistakes can be remembered, pray, "search my heart God.")

T - Thanksgiving (Thank God for all He has done! This is usually very easy for kids and can go on and on!)

S - Supplication (Pray for needs of others, salvation of neighbors and friends, personal requests, etc.)

Let my prayer be set before You as incense,

The lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:2

But certainly God has heard me;

He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Psalm 66:19

Investing In Relationship With The Lord

Frequently, we encourage our children to "love the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30). We are teaching them how to use their bodies, how to train their minds, and how to direct their hearts and souls toward Him. We discipline even during worship as they are being trained to reverence the Lord and not be a distraction to those around them.

Now that the groundwork has been laid, it was important to challenge them to take advantage of the opportunities of worship and not squander them. . . Here's the teaching I gave:

Hebrews 11:1 says, " Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." NLT
We run the race, one step at a time, to reach the finish line and get the prize. We have to deal with the sin in our lives, so that it doesn't trip us. But when we do fall down, we need to get back and keep running. But we keep running the race, step by step.

When we're saving money for something, we set a goal. Then when we get extra money, we put it away, little by little. Eventually, we will have enough money to buy what we want. But we have to keep saving the money every chance we get.

The same is true of worship. Do you want to hear God? Do you want to feel His presence just like you feel Mom's and Dad's hugs?

We give lots of opportunities to worship God--during worship times as a family, at church, at special meetings, even by yourself in prayer or Bible reading. You must "Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength."

We can teach you how to use your bodies, to pray, to sing. We can encourage you to think about God and do the right things, and not being a distraction to other people. But only you can really love God with your mind and heart, and choose to follow with your bodies. Every time, you have an opportunity, it's like running the race, step by step--or putting money away in a "Jesus Bank," little by little. Eventually, you will hear His voice and feel His presence. But what if you threw your money in the trash? You must choose. Will you worship and keep adding "money" to the "Jesus Bank"? Or will you waste the time you have been given and throw the "money" in the trash?

The Heart

Throughout parenting, there have been a few significant points in my life in which I experienced a paradigm shift. The first was with the book, Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman. I realized for the first time that my children should not be brought to church with an expectation to behave and be quiet. Rather, I bring them to my Father, presenting them to Him, and instructing them in participatory worship of Him. I remind them each Sunday, “Pray when we pray. Sing when we sing. This is to love on Jesus. It’s not your time.”

The second shift was visiting my husband’s family out-of-state for a week. I saw my husband’s aunt interact with her children and ours in a gentle yet firm way. I had never seen the two characteristics together--firm and gentle. From that point on, the Lord began to teach me to use consistency and hard work to avoid the emotional parenting to which I had been accustomed. I learned that when I began to get frustrated or angry, it was because I had not parented appropriately earlier. Expecting first-time obedience with respect and cheerfulness (and accepting no less) was a huge step in the right direction.

These seemed to be steps that the Lord has led me to the most recent shift, which was instigated by the book Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. The premise of this book has totally captured my heart in parenting. Rather than behavior modification by addressing the externals, I now attempt to see into the heart and spend the majority of training time there. “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 In this way, many behaviors can be averted by addressing the heart issues first. By recognizing a grumpy heart that can lead to fighting and discord, the child is given a choice to correct their heart before the Lord or suffer the consequences of their poor decisions. Through my life and the child’s life, the number one goal is to glorify God.

I was also captured by this thought from Tedd Tripp’s book,
“Dealing with children in this way avoids giving them a keepable standard so that they feel smug and righteous. They are faced with God’s ways and how much they need the radical, renovating work of Christ.”

I desire to always point them to the path of a deeper intimacy with the Lord. What better way than to instruct their heart!

Preparing Hearts For Christmas

Christmas is an exciting time for kids! Lots of activity, decorations, and fun--even sometimes, snow. However, I found myself concerned this year for their hearts. It is also a very commercialized, materialistic holiday in America. I see it breeding selfishness and greed in my children. I began to pray about this, and saw an opportunity for training before presents!

We have talked about a godly heart in receiving gifts and appreciating other people's gifts while avoiding hearts of jealousy, greed, and selfishness. We memorized two verses to help with these ongoing discussions:
A greedy man stirs up dissension, but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper. Proverbs 28:25 NIV
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

Another great verse is:
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Philippians 2:3

This is such an important discussion for this time of year, but as a life lesson also. How often do we as adults complain about another person having a bigger house, nicer car, more well-behaved kids, special talent, or blessing from the Lord? We ask, why not me? The opposite is what the Bible calls us to: You should not covet, Rejoice with those who rejoice!

Parent-Kid Dates

In an attempt to gain wisdom in raising our children within the context of ministry, I was asking advice of a veteran missionary. Their family had a wonderful routine of validating the children as they were growing. We have no adopted these Dates, and the kids love them!

We have chosen one night of the week as a standing Date Night. Each week, the kids and the parents rotate. Each child has an opportunity to spend time with an alternating parent--alone, having his/her very own dedicated time.

An example would look like this:
Week 1 - Dad - Child 1
Week 2 - Mom - Child 2
Week 3 - Dad - Child 3
Week 4 - Mom - Child 1
and so on....

Our kids talk about their date for several days before their turn. We set a dollar limit and let them choose where they want to go. It helps us, as parents, to connect with our kids!

Christian Biographies

We have read a few books for children that have short biographies on missionaries and other Christians. They are a wonderful way to learn history of the church and world as well as geography. It is sometimes disconcerting and threatening when reading about countries that are hostile towards Christianity. But it is very encouraging to see God work in miraculous ways, and to learn from the character of those who have gone before.

One of my favorite series is by Dave & Neta Jackson called Hero Tales. There are several books in the series. Each biography is divided into four short sections; the first is a general overview and the remaining three are focused on individual character traits with discussion questions and Scriptures following. I love reading about these people! It's my favorite part of our schooling day!

Spiritual Birthdays

We just spent a day celebrating our son's spiritual birthday. It's a great way to remember a significant event in his life--being born into Jesus' family! It is also a wonderful way to bring consistent encouragement and affirmation throughout his life of his relationship with Jesus.

We've explained to our children that they now have 2 birthdays: one when they were born into our family, and one when they were born into God's family. The dates are written on our calendar, and the children get special birthday privileges! What child would not get excited about having 2 birthdays!!